My How Time Flies

As my baby turns 3, I'm starting to get a glimpse into what I've been repeatedly told, time flies when you're raising children. When I first came home with my beautiful baby boy, so many people told me to savour every moment because it all goes by so fast. I excitedly filed that information away, unable to appreciate its meaning with a brand new baby in my arms.

But now, as I prepare my 3 year old to spend the night for the first time with the same girlfriend whose son I initially kept at 3 years old 14 years ago, it all becomes clearer. As she mentally prepares for the fast approaching days this same child goes off to college, I must take pleasure in the routine happenings of my life. Things like still having to keep check on when my little one wakes up because he refuses to get out of his toddler bed on his own, no matter how many times I tell him it's okay. I'm just going to embrace the fact that I get to witness that huge grin as he reaches for me proclaiming how hungry and thirsty he is. Yes these are "our" moments. Still, I can't deny the irony in my sentimental moment of clarity. The realization that these are the days I will someday long for and the moments I will forever cherish.

New Ideas

For various reasons, some time last year my husband and I decided to eliminate red meat from our diets. This was surprisingly much easier to do than we anticipated. We had already started to systematically remove it from our diets by just trying to eat healthier, so eliminating it altogether just seemed like a natural progression. As a result we've, we'll, I've had to come up with new ideas for dinner just for variety. I have a Campbell's cook book that has great recipes that are easy and taste really great. Here's the latest quick and easy recipe that gets great reviews I'm planning on trying. It looks and sounds delicious! Chicken and Cheese Enchiladas

1 can (10 3/4 ounces) Campbell's® Condensed Cream of Chicken Soup (Regular or 98% Fat Free)
1/2 cup sour cream
1 cup Pace® Picante Sauce
2 teaspoons chili powder
2 cups chopped cooked chicken
1/2 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese
6 flour tortillas (6-inch), warmed
1 small tomato, chopped (about 1/2 cup)
1 green onion, sliced (about 2 tablespoons)

1.Heat the oven to 350°F. Stir the soup, sour cream, picante sauce and chili powder in a medium bowl.
2.Stir 1 cup soup mixture, chicken and cheese in a large bowl.
3.Divide the chicken mixture among the tortillas. Roll up the tortillas and place seam-side up in a 2-quart shallow baking dish. Pour the remaining soup mixture over the filled tortillas. Cover the baking dish.
4.Bake for 40 minutes or until the enchiladas are hot and bubbling. Top with the tomato and onion.

As 2009 Comes to a Close

As 2009 comes to a close I can not help but reflect on the year. This year has truly been a year of transition and change for me and my family. We started the year off with a scare concerning my mother's health, our household changed back from 5 to 3, my husband got a new position at work which resulted in our family's move to a new town, and my little one started preschool. At work, I transitioned off a 2 year long special project and went back to my old team, my company experienced another round of lay offs, and I got a new manager due to restructuring in the department.

There were challenges for most, but it was still a good year. In the end, being blessed with a loving family and great friends always seems to offset anything negative in life to me. I'm looking forward to new horizons in 2010. I want to get a passport (as an adult) in the coming year. I'm just looking forward to the blessings I know God has for me and also to being a blessing to someone else. I am declaring that this is going to be my best year yet! I truly believe that and I pray for the same outcome for all of my family, friends, our President, and America. So when all these things become reality, remember you heard it here first!

God Bless 2010!

Excellence

My sister was telling me about a conversation she had with her daughter's doctor concerning excellence. You see my neice is an honor student and wants to go to medical school. Her doctor comes from a long line of doctors, so he was very excited about my neice's choice. He told my sister that his family, originally from India, is entirely made up of doctors. His mother, father, sister, and brother are all doctors. He said, collectively they each paid for the other's education. Once a family member graduated medical school they joined the rest of the family in funneling their money into sending the next person to medical school. They did that until each person in their family became a doctor. So the entire family unit had a vested interest in each individual's success.

Think of the support and sense of responsibility you must feel to succeed knowing that everyone is trusting you to give 100%. Also it must feel spectacular knowing that after that last person graduates, there are no student loans hanging over anybody's head! Now that's smart. It is evident that in that family, excellence is a family affair.

Excellence can be obtained if you:
...care more than others think is wise;
...risk more than others think is safe;
...dream more than others think is practical;
...expect more than others think is possible.” - Author Unknown

Daddy's girl

Recently a friend and I were having a conversation surrounding fathers and their significance in our lives. We talked about the term daddy’s girl and what that meant to each of us. Haven’t we all heard the saying “daddy’s girl”. We may have even used the term to describe a friend, ourselves or even our daughters. That saying is more than a term or title. It stands for having a father or father figure in your life that cares about you more than themselves. Having a male parent that you can depend on and whom is there when you need him. He is there both physically and emotionally and not just financially.

What if you are not a daddy’s girl and you have always envied those that wore that label. What if the lack of a father’s love and/or relationship has sent you seeking that feeling of love in all the wrong places? What if you find yourself jumping from one intimate relationship to another looking to fill that void? What if you settle for a male presence in your life that is verbally, emotionally or physically abusive because you don’t think you deserve better? Lack of a father’s love, approval and presence can lead many down these different paths of heartache, headache and destruction.

An absent father is not just an issue with our daughters our sons are also impacted by this plague. Where you may not hear the term “daddy’s boy”, you will be able to identify the sons that have a productive relationship with their fathers. These are the boys that are taught to be responsible, accountable and respectful. These are the boys that are dependable and work hard to take care of themselves and eventually their families.

However not having a relationship with their father can yield the opposite results. He becomes irresponsible, disrespectful and undependable. It becomes a perpetuating cycle, because he then becomes a father that is either absent or a poor example for his own children.

These are challenges that are dealt with all around the U.S. According to the U.S Census Bureau 30% of American households are headed by a single parent, 84% of which are women. Now this does not necessarily mean that the fathers are not present in the child’s life, however it does increase the chances.

I have personally dealt with the challenges and repercussions of an absent father. I did however, have a stepfather present in the house so there was a male presence. This is more than many have, nonetheless it does not always result in a connection or father daughter relationship. I was however eventually able to connect with a Father that is greater than none other. He has given me the love that no earthly father could ever give. This is my Heavenly Father. He has been that shoulder to cry on in the middle of the night when my heart had been broken. He is the call I would make when my money ran out before my month. He is the one that tells me that I am beautifully and wonderfully made. So I guess I have become a "Daddy's Girl" after all.

In addition to being there for me, my Heavenly Father has helped me with raising my sons. Along with 30% of Americans I have faced the challenges of raising my children with the absence of one parent. For a few years I raised two young men without the presence of a male in the household, instilling responsibility, accountability and dependability in the threads of their being. It was challenging, however I have depended on my heavenly Father. He has been there helping and holding me the entire time. Giving me patience, joy, love and most of all peace. He eventually blessed me with a husband that has been a strong positive example for the boys. In addition, he opened their father's eyes to see the importance of being physically and emotionally present.

God will be that additional parent. He will be your Father, your husband, a Father for your children, your strength and your joy! You just have to open your heart, mind and soul and He will be there.

Tradition and Routine

“They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.'[b] 8You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to the traditions of men." .” Mark 7:7-8

We need order in our lives, our homes, and our churches. All these things are good, but we can not allow those traditions and routines to overshadow God. We can't get so caught up in religious routine that we are no longer in touch with the principle behind it. Know the difference between the Word versus something that was put in place by man to help prevent you from stumbling in your walk with Christ. Let's take dancing for instance.

Dance is a varied art form practiced in different cultures throughout the world. The bible recognizes people giving glory to God through dance.  When the stance against dancing was taken, I believe it was put in place to prevent other believers from stumbling. In some churches, even dancing in the spirit is not acceptable. We can agree that some dance styles are more suggestive and could lead someone into temptation. We can also conclude that this is the root cause of this attempt to roll dancing up into one big bad package. But when I watch my 2 year old dancing his heart away with this huge smile on his face there's nothing but good in that. Oh what a joy!

I didn't bring this up to criticize anyone. If you feel convicted by something, then you shouldn't do it. It's not my place to criticize another person for implementing certain restrictions in their life to help them live holy. Our goal is to please God, not man. On the same token if someone believes something is right for them and they are living according to His word, they also should not be criticized. As Christians the bible encourages us to show how we are different from the world. This includes how we treat one another. If you correct someone that is off the mark in a certain area, show them the Word but do it with kindness and a pure heart. Don't go to them in self righteousness because that's not God's way, God's way is always in love.

There is no place like home

On November 30 I joined 68% of other Americans in homeownership. Holding my keys, feeling like a child on Christmas, I quickly reflected on how we arrived at this milestone. Taking that scary step of pulling my credit 3 years prior and getting that gut wrenching confirmation that I was not going to qualify for homeownership. You know that infamous credit score, the number that lets your creditors and society know the type of person you are. Responsible or irresponsible? Dependable or unreliable? In 2007 my score was 580 and to my creditors I was deemed irresponsible and unreliable. Like many other Americans that were in a very similar situation, this was not an accurately depiction of who I was. So now I had to get my score to reflect the real me. So do I call the 800# listed in the median that promises you good credit in 30 days? Well I did make a phone call. I called the person that could tell me what I needed to do. I called a mortgage lender. What is the score I need to get my own home. 620 was the target, because I am a vet with a letter of eligibility.

So now it was time for committment and sacrifice, I had to decide what I wanted more, the latest Coach purse, designer jeans, a new leather jacket, acrylic nails, or my own house. I am sure it appears to be a no brainer. The house won.

I had to focus on:

1. No delinquencies for 1 year prior to applying for the home loan.

2. Getting my balances below 30- 50% of the credit limit.

3. Paying off all of the collection items, many of which I never knew was there.

4. Paying off one card at a time, moving the resources to the next card in line once each card is paid.

At the same time I had to take bag lunches to work, create and stay with a budget, walk away from the coupons for the Macy's one day sale. You know the one the happens once a month. Now don't get me wrong this was hard to do and every now and then I would slip back into my bad habits. However, I was often reminded of my goal when I felt the draft through the 30 year old wooden windows and dealt with the damage in my ceiling from the leaky plumbing in the house I was renting. That was definitely enough to get me back on track.

So here I sit 3 years later with a 740+ score holding the keys to my new home. So it was worth the sacrifice and wait. I now own a quaint, 2800 sq foot, 6 bedroom, 3.5 bath, 2 story single family home.

If you are not a homeowner, do you want to be but you are afraid to take that first step? If you are a homeowner was it an easy process for you? Were you able to qualify for the house you actually wanted, or did you have to settle? Tell me I want to know.

A Profession Whirling out of Control...

Let's get back to basics seems to be the outcry of the nation in so many areas. Whether you're talking finances, only buy what you can pay cash for, to the positive effects of simply sitting down as a family at the dinner table, people are realizing the importance of getting back to basics.

I am embracing this concept mind, body, and soul. Some things may be harder than others, but one easy thing we all can implement starting today is monitoring what we consume on TV, on the Internet, in magazines, and newspapers. Haven't you noticed that some aspects of the media are out of control? You have the paparazzi chasing down celebrities, reporters delivering the news with their own agenda, and negative stereotypes being reinforced on a regular basis.

Princess Diana was killed 10 years ago trying to get away from the paparazzi. I wish I could say that incident was the turning point in how the paparazzi operated but it wasn't. In fact, I think it's worst. Some reporters now feel it's their "right" to publish a person's personal business no matter how painful. Okay we get it, celebrities are human too. The mystic behind the stardom no longer exists because we know EVERYTHING. Nothing is sacred and nothing is off limits. Did the public help create this monster? Bad news and scandal sells is what they say. One of my favorite quotes is

The appetite grows by what it feeds on. - Albert Richardson

Let's stop feeding into this problem by not consuming it. Don't bank roll it. Stop clicking on the negative gossip stories on the Internet. Keep moving if a magazine spends all its time capitalizing on other people's misery. Let's start demanding more good to balance out the bad and the ugly. I'm glad people are getting back to basics. I have officially joined the movement. Let this be our one small step for mankind, and even more beautiful, womankind!